It’s amazing how the body reacts so quickly to a change in eating habits, positive or negative. The last couple weeks I was binging daily and was completely obsessed with thoughts of food. This week I finally broke the cycle – largely because I’d already eaten everything I would binge on and didn’t have anything left – and my mindset is completely different. I think I finally found the winning pattern for me; I’m not binging or restricting but just “dieting” like the rest of America, keeping it around 1200 cals. I have a low-sugar breakfast (usually either bran flakes and milk or an English muffin with peanut butter and sugar free preserves), then a banana for snack, then greek yogurt for lunch, then grapes for snack, then a single serving of dinner (generally chicken, veg, and wild rice), and some decaf tea later in the evening. I haven’t even thought about binging in four days, and yesterday I walked right by the candy isle and wasn’t even tempted. But I know as soon as I have that first bit of candy or other junk it’ll be all over and I’ll be back in the binge cycle. The only downside is I’m back to being cold all the time, but I guess that’s better then sweating like I was before. I just wish the fucking three feet of snow we have would go away so I could get back into running – it’s too dangerous to run in the road and the sidewalks are useless. But I guess one day at a time. Seriously considering buying a treadmill with my tax refund.


8 thoughts on “Metabolism

      1. Haha, I mean an easy answer for me is that it is an escape from reality. Why do I want to escape reality? Because reality is hard. Why? Stress. How else can I de-stress? Many ways, which works best? I don’t know I am used to eating but I suppose I could try something new.
        That is the conversation I often have with myself. Sometimes it gets me somewhere, sometimes it doesn’t. Sorrry for using your comment section to think.


      2. That’s probably true. Stress. Anxiety. Depression. Eating is totally a temporary escape from those things. It’s less soul-crushing to say “my ED caused me to fail” then to say “I failed bc I wasn’t good enough.”


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