Feelings

I have so much to say I don’t know where to begin. I almost cried at a tv show tonight bc I gave so much pent-up emotion that I don’t know how to get out. I did good with food all week but then binged all weekend and undid everything. I might feel less guilty about it if I could run but there’s six feet of snow outside and hubs doesn’t want me to get a treadmill until we organize the basement (and I guess he’s right; there’s really no where to put it). I took a double dose of my klonopin tonight which helped a little (don’t worry; my usual dose is very low), but I still feel like I want to crawl out of my skin. And on top of that I’m just feeling very overwhelmed with life; too much to do and no time to do it. Which is partially my fault; I procrastinate too much. I guess I just feel trapped and I don’t know what to do from here. I hate what I see when I look in the mirror – both my body and the person inside who is doing nothing to make herself happier. That’s the kicker with depression; once you know what to do to kick it you’re too far gone to make it happen. Nothing matters to me right now, so how am I supposed to prioritize myself? Help?

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