it just WONT STOP SNOWING. I can’t run and my race is going to be here in three weeks. I can’t even run three miles right now; I’m going to make a fool out of myself and waste my money. It’s really depressing me and making me just want to say fuck it and stuff my face. Either that or just starve myself so at least if I’m a slug I won’t be a fat slug.
The hubs doesn’t understand at all. He’s like “why do you let it bother you so much, you’ll be fine” – I can barely do two miles, never mind three, and I have three weeks to get both my distance and my speed back up to race standards. I thought running was supposed to make me feel better, not give me one more thing to have anxiety about.
And besides that, I just need some fucking sunshine.
So I got a little exercise today in the form of shoveling, and I only overate a little bit. Not sure if they’re related but hoping I can accomplish the same tomorrow. There’s over eight feet of snow on the ground, but the road seems fairly clean so maybe I’ll try to get a run in tomorrow morning. I’ve got a race in less than two months so I really need to start training – I haven’t gone running in almost a month so I’m basically starting at ground zero. I need to call my shrink tomorrow too and ask about upping my antidepressants; clearly dealing with my feelings on my own isn’t working and I can’t keep turning to food. So that’s my plan; let’s see if I actually stick to it… God I need to move out of New England; these winters are killing me.