I think I want to break up with my psychiatrist. She doesn’t get me at all. All her sentences start with “but you’re not…” like she doesn’t believe I could possibly have real issues while still being high-functioning. “You’re not depressed now though right? You’re not really restricting anymore right? Your mood is good right?” She constantly minimizes my ED and today even called it “not serious.” Like yes it’s true that I no longer b/p 5-10 times per day, but just bc I’m improved doesn’t mean I’m cured. And I don’t think an ED can ever be “not serious.” I tried to open up about my body image issues and she essentially told me to stop being ridiculous bc I’m not actually fat. Like yes I know I’m not morbidly obese but a) I’m flabby and b) that doesn’t change how I feel. Even when I was clinically underweight and was diagnosed with AN (restricting type) only, I still felt fat. Clearly ED is not a logical thing; it’s a fucking mental illness.
I had the best psych for like six years and then she moved across the country. Sometimes I wonder if I’m just never going to like anyone else simply bc they’re not her. Or maybe I’m just not sick enough anymore and I’m wasting everyone’s time with body image issues when half the women in America hate their bodies.