It’s official. 

I’m fat. I’m going on a diet. I’m just like every other woman in America and am no longer special. I’m not “the skinny one” anymore. 

I just ordered Clen, which I haven’t taken since I was I college and deep into my ED. So I guess I’m going back down that route. I don’t know how to feel about this. I remember being so miserable and hopeless then – I even got addicted to coke after starting it to lose weight – but I’m also pretty miserable and hopeless now, and at least I was losing weight then.

I’m determined to get back to working out and eating clean, also. I’m not going to spend money on drugs and undo everything by constantly binging. I’ll take the Clen this once to get back on track and then hopefully when it runs out I’ll be back to my skinny habits. 

God I’m so pathetic. 

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