I feel like my entire life is a giant hypocritical situation. I want to be thin, but I don’t stop stuffing my face. I hate having an eating disorder, but I want to go back to when I was just anorexic. I take care of my outer body, with lotion and serums and all that shit, but I treat my internal body like shit, with a diet of garbage and no exercise.
Part of me blames it on the depression, which just makes motivating myself to do anything so goddamn difficult. But part of me just thinks I’m fucking lazy. I know what I have to do to get my body where I want. I’m sure I’ve posted “plans” on here a dozen times. So why can’t I fucking DO that??
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Don’t feel bad about it. You just need to find motivation to do the right things to your body. If you think the depression has something to do about it then go talk to your doctor and maybe you will feel better and will get motivated. Stay strong and positive 🙂
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Just start making your goals daily parts of your life, in smaller steps. Patience is the hardest part, by far. Write about it often. Find people who have the life/mindset you seek, and surround yourself with them. I also recommend the book “Biting Anorexia” by Lucy Howard Taylor. Take care of yourself, you’re worth it 🙂
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