Fat

Fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat.
Piggy piggy piggy piggy piggy.
Oink oink oink oink oink.
Lazy slug lazy slug lazy slug.
Disgusting. Weak. Useless. Worthless. Hopeless.

I don’t know if this is ED or if it’s true – I think probably both. All I’ve been doing is stuffing my face and not exercising so I am getting fat by being a piggy and being a lazy slug. I do feel disgusting and weak and worthless and hopeless. But ED is so mean about it. There’s no solutions, no baby steps, no “well congratulations on at least not purging!” So that makes me feel worse and all I want to do is curl up and eat my feelings and cry.

Sometimes friends need to lie to make each other feel better. “You’re not lazy; you’re just busy doing other things.” ED would never say that. ED is not my friend. So why do I keep listening??

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