It’s almost the end

Of 2014. Thank god. I need a new start. The hubs’ resolution is to get back in shape, so it’ll be nice to have a partner motivating me to get out of bed the morning and go run. Also hoping there will be less shit in the house for me to binge on – my resolution is to stop buying candy any larger than a single serving.

I also want to resolve to focus less on fat and calories and focus more on clean eating and fitness. Wish me luck on that one – I know what I need to do, but after a decade of ED it’s hard to get ride of the all-or-nothing, good-or-bad way of thinking. For instance, I’m currently in “fuck it” mode and have pretty much eaten everything I can get my hands up. I finally weighed myself the other day; while I’m not telling my exact weight, I’m officially back in the 120s – after being 112 like six weeks ago. But I know if I want to lose the weight again and keep it off, I need to do it the healthy way and not by starving. That just seems so impossible.

Also resolving to look for a new job and apply to at least one each week. This place is killing me. Only one more semester of grad school, woohoo! Hopefully getting this degree will open up more doors for me. I’ve worked my ass off for this, so it had better be worth it!

Also resolving to procrastinate less, which I guess boils down to being more organized and less lazy. It’s weird; I’m so organized and on top of shit at work, but in real life I’m simultaneously all over the place and yet accomplishing nothing at all. Gotta work on that. Less Facebook, more real books.

And sleep. I’ve gotta get back on a normal schedule. I’m either sleeping way too much or not nearly enough and I think that’s impacting a lot of areas of my life. I need to set a firm bedtime of 10:30, at least during the week. So far I fail; it’s quarter after one in the morning. So I guess I’d better get on that.

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