Conflicted.

So I decided to take a day off from running tomorrow bc my shins really hurt. That’s good, right- listening to my body? Except while my body might be happy, my mind isn’t. ED is telling me I’m a fat lazy fuck. That I need to do something to burn cals tomorrow, if not running. Maybe I’ll do stairs at work – that’s low-impact and high-intensity. No idea what I’ll have for breakfast either. I feel so lost.

A month ago I hated running; now I’m addicted. Figures. I can’t ever seem to do anything in moderation; it’s always all or nothing. That’s prob why having an eating disorder comes so naturally and normal eating is so hard. I can’t moderate.

I’m also impulsive as hell, but that’s a blog for another day.

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